Fear

I received my acceptance letter to college this week. It’s official I am a student once again.

I have very few regrets in my life, I believe the course I have taken has made me who I am today as a person.

That being said I do have a few regrets. One regret I have is that I didn’t go to college when I was younger.

I think back to all the time I had before the girls and I just could kick myself. Wasted time, now I have to go back for many reasons and I worry so much about having enough time to study, complete assignment, be a mom, and take care of everything around the house.

I’ll level with you, the real reason I never went to college was fear.

Lately I have lived a life of fear.

FEAR should be considered the ultimate 4-letter word. I know it has stopped me so many times in my life. Making me feel inadequate, unwanted, stupid, the list is endless.

To this day it can keep me awake at night in a state of sheer panic. The fear of the unknown and sometimes the fear of history repeating it’s self.

Fear has immeasurable destructive powers.

Going back to school I hope is my first step in defeating fear and taking back my power.

It isn’t easy and the doubts that run through my mind daily are huge!

I constantly worry, if I can’t over come my fears how will I be able to help my girls over come theirs? I love my girls and I want to be able to show them that they can over come their fears.

Love is a great weapon to defeat fear that and baby steps forward.

Here I go one baby step at a time.