Saturday, November 18

"Letting Go"

Over the last few weeks my life has taken some very unreal turns. So much so that at times I have said out loud "I cannot believe this is my life!" I do see a counselor every 2 weeks. The same one the Rob and I had been seeing while apparently I was trying to work on our marriage. I say "I" because looking back now having all the facts I have "I" was the only one working on it, he was still dating.

Anyway...

My counselor suggested I read on how to "detach" my self from my relationship with Rob. It came after the sobbing comment "I don't know how to let go and stop loving him". She so calmly pointed out that he had already in fact started this process and I was the only one still in love in the relationship. I still feel like an idiot even typing it. But the truth sometimes does make you feel like a fool.

So I found a wonderful website that I have been reading at Coping.org. I have had some moments when I would read something and have to put it down because I saw myself in what it was saying and hated what I saw. Nonetheless I have been reading every night...thinking and yes crying but it’s a process right?

There was a one I call poem...that I printed and is sitting in my room ...I read it before I go to bed, it gives some peace. So I thought I would share it with you.



``Letting Go''

To ``let go'' does not mean to stop caring.
It means I can't do it for someone else.

To ``let go'' is not to cut myself off.
It's the realization I can't control another.

To ``let go'' is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To ``let go'' is to admit powerlessness
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To ``let go'' is not to try to change or blame another.
It's to make the most of myself.

To ``let go'' is not to care for, but to care about.

To ``let go'' is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To ``let go'' is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To ``let go'' is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To ``let go'' is not to be protective.

It's to permit another to face reality.

To ``let go'' is not to deny, but to accept.

To ``let go'' is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To ``let go'' is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To ``let go'' is not to adjust everything to my desires
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To ``let go'' is to not regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To ``let go'' is to fear less and LOVE MYSELF MORE!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Karla said...

Wow, what a great poem!!

6:50 PM, November 18, 2006  
Blogger Julie said...

You are on your way to healing. Day by Day, week by week and month by month. It is so difficult to break a "habit", something which is familiar, even if it is bad for us, but it can be done. It will get easier until one day you wake up and it won't be you first thought, you last thought, or any thought.
We love you
Jul

8:58 AM, November 19, 2006  

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