Wednesday, March 24

Looking for Comfort?

I was once asked by a very nosey neighbor “what I do for comfort” when my husband is gone. At first I just looked at her in disbelief, one because for some reason she felt it was ok to ask me that and two because HELLO she asked me that!

Now if you know me you know my natural sarcastic side. My first thought was to say “well you know I am glad you brought this up because I thought I would ask if you could share your Plummer(yes his actual trade) husband with me complete with beer belly and hairy butt crack!” (Sorry I guess a visual warning would have been nice uh?) Instead I said” well you know I do Tae Kwon Do and it helps relieve the stress”. To this day I wish I had said my first thought. Think about it the look on her face would have been priceless.

As you know (you being loyal readers :) )I have been sick and not able to do TKD. I think you know where this is headed. (Sure you do trying to hide from it won’t make it go away!) Anyway, I have been feeling a STRONG need for ”comfort” and no solutions.

Now I did once look at a website that displayed items to help women ”comfort” themselves. But I have to confess I am afraid of these items. Just browsing around the site almost made ALL the hair on my body stand up.

They have Anal beads and they come in various sizes. Just looking at the x-small
made my butt pucker and run for cover. They also have a silicon penis, in bright blue with the vibrating option, and the butterfly effect. First who in their right mind thought a blue penis was attractive. Honestly, there is not such thing as an attractive penis! Making it bright blue isn’t the answer. And the all famous ( I say this because I have heard it mentioned while talking with others that the butterfly feature was heaven sent)butterfly attached to it. To me and hey it could just be me it looks a lot like that thing that came out of the guys chest in Alien only baby size. Hmm… NO THANKS!

So the question remains what will I do for comfort. To be honest I am a very easy girl to please (ok I know I am asking for it here but please just hold that thought) and I like sex. However I like it with my Rob and not a toy, and not someone else’s toy( wink) so I will have to settle for cheesecake and country music videos. Have you seen these guys! Chris Cagle, Allan Jackson, (drooling) Tim McGraw. You know I may need more cheesecake!


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