Love, Marriage, and Divorce Military Style. (Part One)

Rob and I have been married 17 years in September. Before marrying we dated and including that time (and Rob always includes that time) we have been together for 26 years. We grew up together from hormonal teens, to young adults, onto mature adults, and then parenthood.

We have taken many, many steps together. Always first as friends, I think that is very important. I can relate to Rob as a friend not only his wife. I have to admit we are slow movers. We didn’t marry till were 23.

What too so long? In one word Me, let me explain. I grew up in the military and I did not want to be a military spouse. I wanted roots, same old place same old faces with Rob coming home every night at the same time. I wanted what I didn’t have as a child.

My father spent 23 years serving his country including a tour in Vietnam. I know first hand the price of being a military brat. Not understanding why daddy can’t be at your games, school functions, or at home with you. It’s a very hard life to understand as a child. Hell I’m an adult and some days I still don’t understand it. I didn’t want that for our family. Ultimately though you love who you love.

Rob did get out of the Army after serving his first 4 years came home and tried to live the life I wanted. We set a date for our wedding and found a place to live. I was on cloud nine, I had Rob home and we were starting the life I dreamed of as a child.

Rob on the other hand was miserable, he hated his job and he missed being a soldier. He was doing all this because he loved me and wanted us to have a live together. He had always wanted it to be US. The joke then was “ Us as in you and me, and USS in US Soldier.”

On day in March he came home and told me that no matter how much he loved me, he had to go back in the Army. He said he was meant to be a soldier and that he felt that was were he belonged at this time in his life. But that he truly hoped I would see that I was also suppose to be a part of his life. As you guessed I did see how much he needed to go back and I did marry him.

I do LOVE my soldier and I am so very proud of him. I would do anything for him and I would never do anything to dishonor him. I always try to conduct myself as his wife. I do hate this time in our lives when he is gone and I am so lonely with out him. Or the times when he is home but still gone. I hate that he doesn’t belong solely to the girls and me. I was never very good at sharing,

I know he misses us and loves us. And I know with all my heart he also would never do anything to dishonor me. It’s a mutual respect any two people who share a life together have. Or should have. I also understand that he is who he is and I love him for who he is not what he does.

Do I like being an Army wife? Let me say this. I have enjoyed the opportunities being and Army wife has offered me. But I also recognize what it has cost me. I don’t hate it but I also don’t love it.

I am however always proud to tell anyone that I am in fact an Army wife!