Monday, May 31

Great Visit

My visit with Harriet ( A.K.A Sparky) is done!!! We had a blast playing cribbage till we couldn’t see straight. I am proud to announce that I won our little tournament. We played 42 games I won 29 skunking her 3 times. She skunked me once. Last tournament we played 49 games and I lost 23 and was skunked 3 times. Ah to win was good!!!

Other then playing cribbage we also went shopping, Harriet’s favorite past time. I even went to the mall.( I am not a mall shopper). While out Terry, (Harriet’s husband) was too good to me, he did my honey do list. Actually it is a “Gail List” that was on the frig take a look:

  • Fix Gate

  • Fix Fence

  • Buy Shovel and plant flowers

  • Set up pool

  • Fix grill

  • Hang hangers for plants

  • Weed Rob’s Rock Cemetery

I about cried when I saw all he had done. The man works fast too. Oh and he also took care of my sunburn and broken toe(Terry is an ER nurse). When I went to Visionland with the girls on Wednesday I got more sun then I thought. I had a serve burn on my arms, shoulder,chest, and my back. Here is a picture of my back, which is now healing.

healing back day 4
Posted by Hello

Harriet would lather me down 4 times a day with Green Ice. Yes it works not only did it stop the sting of the burn but it also stopped me from blistering and peeling. Let me tell you all it works not only did it stop the sting of the burn (it is so cold going on) but it also stopped me from blistering and peeling. My burn is now turning into a tan and finally most of the pain is gone. I got my bra on today!!

My toe is healing. It looks horrible but not much can be done. I still can’t believe I broke it making my bed. Yeah I know…gracefully is not something I ever claimed to be!

They kids had blast playing in the pool and on the PS2. It was like they never were separated. Before I forget let me brag on Gunter here. He was the perfect little host. They brought their Miniature Schnauzer she is all of 13 pounds and my Gunter who is getting closer to 100.

He would lay down so she could run and jump on him and he never hurt her. He would just use his head to knock her over and they must have ran 30 miles in the back yard playing.

She even went so far one day as to eat his food and he just sat down and groaned at me. Waiting patiently for us to move her. He shared his favorite toys with her and never growled or snapped once.The only time he barked at her was when she tried to get on my lap. Toys and food he was ok with but he wasn’t sharing me!

Rob called and he was able to speak to both of them. We had a great visit and it was nice to have them here.


Thursday, May 27

Quote of The Week

I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving. To reach the port of heaven, we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it, but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor.
--Oliver Wendell Holmes


Beauty From The Dark

Posted by Hello

This is another of the pictures I took at the Rose Garden last weekend. I had ment to show you all and ran out of time. I seem to be attracted to picture that have darkness with something coming out of it to the light.

If I had to name it I would probably go with “Beauty From The Dark” or something along those line. At any rate I really like this one so I thougth I would share it with you all.

I did start planting my flowers for the summer. I was doing pretty good till the shovel broke. I needed to dig 7 holes to plant the flowers around Rob’ rock garden. Garden being used very lightly here. I have an idea of how the yard will look and I can’t wait to get a new shovel and get those flowers planted.

I had the Rose bush I bought in front of Alyssa’s room for a 5 days now and it seems to be getting enough sunlight and such so I am going to plant it next week.


The girls and I went to Visionland yesterday and had a blast. I got fried, and boy and I paying for it today. It’s been a very long time since I have had a sunburn like this.

Thank goodness I had green ice on hand to help. I am aslo taking Motrin to help with pain. I was surprised it worked to be honest. Someone told me about taking it a few years back (wish I could remember who so I could thank them . It very good advice.

We played at the water park for about 4 hours then spent 3 hours at the amusement park. They had some cool rides Lindsey liked. Alyssa is just like her mom in that aspect we aren’t great amusement park riders. I just don’t see the fun in riding something that in the end may make me get sick.

Rob on the other hand LOVES things like that. I have to give him credit I have never seen him get sick from a ride. He does pretty good. Of course he hates going to parks with me because I am such a whimp, but those days are over I have now found 3 people who would love to go with him and spin, toss and bump their way to joy!

WAHOO I am finally off the hook and so are the girls!

In all we had a very, very nice family day. Our first since Rob left and that felt very good. I did have some moments that I just wished he was with us. Lindsey told him today when he called that she can’t wait to do the roller coaster with him when he gets home.

Only 523 days left!


Alyssa and Snake

Snake with Alyssa
Posted by Hello

A friend of mine has a son who just loves snakes. ALyssa was so excited she got to hold this pit boa! I on the other hand about died taking this picture. She asked if she could have one for her birthday of course I said NO FREAKING WAY


Monday, May 24


I am drawn to this picture. I just love the whole layout of it.
Posted by Hello


My Girls

This picture of Lindsey (left) and Alyssa(right) was also taken at the garden. I have many more of the girls I took with my 35mm. I'll share them when they are developed!
Posted by Hello



I took this picture while visiting a rose garden here in town. I think this is one of the best pictures I took.  Posted by Hello


Now With Pictures?

Blogger now offers a way to add photo's to your blogs. It is called Hello this link will take you to how it works. How easy it is to work I will have to let you know. Iam still trying to add a photo. Wish me luck!


Saturday, May 22

What a Letter!

The letter I am going to post for you all were posted for us on a forum I go to. I don't post there much anymore mostly because I don't feel I fit in like I once did. Lots of new girlfriends, soon to be wives and well whiner’s and drama queens’ .Ok the last one is just my opinion but it's my blog I can play anyway I want. There is however at least 10 ladies there I adore. I go and usually only read the posts they make skipping the drama queens. Ones husbands in Iraq and in the thick often. (Please keep them all in your prayers).

Anyway this was posted by one of the great ladies I adore and the letter touched me. The beginning of this letter, well it seems to sum up our lives so well. If you are not a military spouse and are not close to a military spouse then maybe this can help you see some of what our lives are like.
Letter to a Military Spouse:

While I have never had the pleasure of meeting you or your husband, I felt the need to write you and express a very deep feeling that I have in my heart.

I, as a person, am not brave. I do not tackle things head on, as I hate confrontation. I will travel 100 miles out of my way just to avoid a conflict. I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news. I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for.

I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband.

I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so.

I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand.

I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home.

I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with.

And I have never had to feel the panic rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the news that everyone is terrified of getting.

For the reasons listed above, I cannot tell you that I understand how you feel. I cannot tell you that you must be strong. I cannot say that you shouldn't be angry, because you "knew what you were getting into when you married a military man." I cannot say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes.

What I can say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as "just another soldier" - - I will never have to walk in your shoes.

I do understand that as a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control, but I never understood how you could do it, until now. I have figured out that you are not like other women. You are of a special breed. You have a strength within you that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess. The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America.

You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American. I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment.

Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what America meant to me.

Until this moment, I had no real reason to.... Until I heard of you.

Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us...but you and those like you are the backbone of the American family. You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down. Military families make this nation what it is today.

You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel.

Because of you and your family...I am able to be me. I am able to have my family. I am able to walk free in this great land. Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay. Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday.

I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom.

I will never be able to repay this debt to you, as it is unmatchable.
However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are...what you are doing...what has happened today...or what will happen tomorrow...Your husband will NEVER be "just another soldier" to me.... And you, dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten.

You are all in my prayer's everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely.

May God Bless You!


Melissa G. Bouldin-Reeves

Bless you Ms. Bouldin-Reeves and thank you for your wonderful letter!


Friday, May 21

Finally It Ends!

Have you ever heard of the movie ”The War Of The Roses”? If you have then I don’t need to describe my last week of school. If you haven’t rent it and then you will know! Everyday the older and younger teacher found new ways of embarrassing themselves and those around them with little tantrums and petty fights. I can’t tell you how happy I am it is all over!!!

What was nice was the parents of our students seem to understand the position we as the aides were put in and showed us how much they truly appreciated the fact we hung in there and keep the kids on track. They gave us small gifts, accompanied by hugs, many words of thanks, and praise for a job well done. See that right there, is worth it all to know that we made a difference in the life of our kids when all hell was breaking loose!

Now it's SUMMER VACATION!!! Yes please take a minute and do the happy dance with us. If this family ever needed a break boy this is it. I felt the stress of the past 5 months weighing on me. Add the stress of homework and teacher conflicts to it PHEW it just wears you out.

Along with the teacher war I had a small battle of my own going on with Lindsey’s teacher. If you don’t know my Lindsey Lu you wouldn't know she came out of the womb with attitude.

Rob and I have said from day one she came out PMSing and hasn’t stopped. I know this about my Lin and I warn ALL her teachers the first day of school. I tell them point blank:
" Lindsey will give you attitude, she will roll eyes and when she does this NAIL HER! Tell me that day and I will reinforce at home what you have told her here at school. Together we can keep her in check. I am always available and if I happen to be with a class on a field trip send her to the principal and let her pay the price. It is the only way she is going to learn."

I am not a parent who will look at the teacher and say “Oh not my child”. As a teacher I understand that some parents have NO clue as to how their little angels act sometimes. Knowing this I work very hard not to be one of these parents.

When Rob was getting ready to leave for Saudi I warned every one of my girls teachers. I told them that the stress before he leaves and once he is gone will be tremendous and that there may be behavioral problems until we get into our groove. I also stated I would deal with them and keep my thumb on the girls.

About a week after Rob left Lindsey had a major attitude attack. Her teacher (of 22 years) let me know about it, in the middle of the hall the next morning. I would have preferred she talk to me in private the day before when Lindsey had been so horrible but you know I chalked it up to her needing time to cool off. ( Ok the middle of the hall stuff really annoyed the tar out of me.)

I did deal with lin right there, I let her know she was grounded for the weekend from her friends and TV and I had some extra chores for her. I also told her that she would have to apologize to her teacher (sincerely) by the end of the day. (I think children need to make up there own apologizes to fully understand what they did…that is why she had till the end of the day).

Again after school that day I let her teacher know that I would like to know about these things THE DAY they happen. Not in the hall the next morning. She thanked me for supporting her and so on …you get the picture.

Between Jan 15 (When Rob left and the end of February) Lindsey had had from what I was told 3 attitude attacks and we dealt with them. I did remind them that she was still working through the whole thing about her dad leaving for so long and the stresses that came with it. Of course I was told on one occasion that I was using that as an excuse for her behavior and I needed to stop that.

My response to that was:
" You know you could be right but I doubt it. I understand what you may think but I don’t think you fully understand what our life is like. You see it on the news and you hear about it but when you have to live it…well that’s when it gets hard."

It was dropped and by March Lindsey’s behavior was back on track. Her third quarter report card showed the stress of her dad leaving. But she came back with A’s and B’s the next quarter.

Then came the last 3 weeks of school. (This may be a good place to say potty if you need to, refresh your coffee | Drink or smoke um if you’ve got them).

I had several teachers tell me that Lin was sitting at the quiet table at lunch and sitting out at recess. I asked Lin about this and she informed me that she was also not allowed to sit near her best friend at lunch for the rest of the year, stand next to her in line, and she was not to talk or play with her at recess.

So I left a note in her teachers box and we had a small meeting in the office. I asked her about this. I said “They must have done something really bad for you to take action this stiff last 3 weeks of school? Why didn’t you tell me? Did you send them to the office?”

Her response: “ no they are just giggly and silly and I had enough.” Ok they are 10. Isn’t that what 10-year-old girls do? Yes I did say that. She said “ well I do plan to give then another chance…next week.” Fine, and she did it lasted one day. At this point I told Lin to just smile say yes ma’am and make it to the end of the year.

Move forward to Monday, my day from hell. Lindsey tells me that night I need to pay $16.50 for a spelling book the teacher said she lost. Now I remember checking all of Lin’s books the day she turned them in and she had them all! Turns out we returned a blue dotted spelling book and that is suppose to be a classroom book. She needed a red dotted book. The blue dotted book is the book we have had all year. Now had I known it should have been red I would have sent it back the day it came home.

So I meet with her teacher and tell her we returned the only book we had. The following is our conversation:

Her : “ Well I am sorry but she needs to pay for the book she lost.”

Me:”NO! We are not paying for something we never had or lost. She turned in the book she had.”

Her: “ Well I don’t know what to tell you, I don’t have the book in my class, and she can’t have her report card till you pay for it.”

Me: “ That’s ok you can keep the report card she doesn’t need it to go to 5th grade. Also, I have told Lindsey to just smile and say yes Ma’ am to what ever you tell her, I know yesterday you made her sit out at recess because you felt she was walking to fast in line, but I also expect that you will not take advantage of that and considering that there is a day and a half left of school I am sure you agree this is suppose to be the fun days, I realize she doesn’t like you and you don’t like her but you only have 1 ½ days to go. ”

I turn to leave

Her: “ You know I have never said I don’t like Lindsey, and I have PUT UP ( insert tone with that) with her out of professional courtesy for you.

ME: “ You have PUT UP with her??? I have backed you EVERYTIME you have contacted me about her. I have told her ALL YEAR that I support your punishments even when I thought you were getting petty. You punished her for giggling with her friend ….now I have talked to other parents who happened to be there when she was giggling and they said it was nothing big just normal 10- year old stuff. But I still stood by you. I made sure I was available anytime you needed me….I told you to send her to the office if she was that bad….and now you have “PUT UP” with her? And you say you like her???

Her: “ Well, I don’t think you fully understand how much attitude Lindsey has!”

Me; “ I don’t understand? Hello I am the one who warned you! I know my daughter, she came out of my body exactly the way she is. I have never said she didn’t have an attitude… I have never been on of those parents who think their child is always right and perfect. I said we could work together…. and if you remember she was fine till her dad left. And I know for a fact the you have rode her hard. I have had parents tell me that their children say you ride her hard. Hell she sat out recess on the last week of school for WALKING TOO FAST??? Did I lean on you? NO, I figured it was the last week we will just make. But don’t sit here and tell me you “PUT UP” with her out of professional courtesy when I have done everything I can to support you and I never once asked for any favors. My god I should just go and find her previous teacher and beg their forgiveness for making them put up with her too all those years!!!!

Her: “ Well I just don’t know what to tell you. I did it for you>”

Me: “ Yeah well, excuse me if I don’t say Thank you. You know I listen to teacher say how they wished they had a parent who would support them, and work with them. I did that for you, I have done that will all of the girls teachers. Now I understand how if feels to be a parent who does try and the teacher takes advantage of that and then clams to be a victim.” “ If you have any problems with Lin today send her to me….I will sign her out and you will NOT have to “PUT UP “ with her.”

Meeting ends.

Yeah I know I lost my cool. I probably should have just walked out were I told her that Lindsey was just suppose to say “ Yes Ma’am”. But it really pissed me off because I honestly did try my hardest to back her up and I do work everyday to adjust Lindsey’s attitude.

Her past teachers have told me that while Lin does sometimes have an attitude and they notice she only really pushes it when she is stressed. I can tell you that is true. My god no time has ever been more stressful for us then this. First Rob leaving for a year then being told it will be 2 years. Hell I had attitude.

Her teachers have also pointed out to me that Lindsey is extremely bright and that there is really nothing she can’t do. Her test scores back this up. She’s smart girl. She qualified for the gifted programs at our school but the stress of having to keep up with two separate classes was more then Lin could do and so we took her out (the gifted teacher was very disappointed but understood and has help by supplying us with things for Lin to do during breaks).
Needless to say I left the meeting with my “ Italian UP” as Rob would say. I had to go to the office to sign in and the principal was there. She asked me if I had the book thing straightened out and me being me let her know about everything.

My principal is a not bullshit kind of gal. She lays it right out there, she will pull no punches no matter who you are. I can’t tell you how many times she has just flat told parents:
“ Your child is out of control and you need to get it together. We will not put up with this in our school.”

I told her I wasn’t paying for something we didn’t lose and that I told the teacher she could have Lin’s report card we didn’t need it to go to 5th grade. She said nothing. At the end of the day several other teachers had told me that Lin’s teacher was very upset about the way I talked to her and that she reported to everyone in the office that I was very rude!

My comment. Yeah well she’ll get over it.

Move forward to yesterday morning…the last day of school. You could feel the joy in the air. Kids smiling, teachers floating on air….it was a great day just knowing the end was near. This is also the day the kids who are staying get to meet their teachers for next year and visit the classroom for about 15 min. It’s way cool trust me.

I went by the office to sign in and the principal stopped me and said…” Did you get the book thing resolved?” I said as far as I am concerned it is. She smiled at me and said, “ Please stop by the secretaries office on your way to class.” I said ok and went to her office.

Guess what she gave me? Lindsey’s report card! With a note that said;
” I believe you and thank you for supporting your teacher and our school, I know this year has been very difficult on your family and through it all you stood by our students taking classrooms most subs run from. I also know your daughter is NOT a problem child, that she is a very nice young lady and like any child will misbehave when stressed. Thank you for being a parent who does try. ”

I needed that!
After the past few days I thought for sure that today I would sleep till noon. NO clocks going off, nowhere that I had to be!! But instead I woke up at 7:30 am and I felt relaxed and rested. Man I love summer vacation!!!!


Monday, May 17

Who’s Teaching The Children?

That maybe a very strange question considering the fact that I do indeed teach. I have mentioned in pervious postings I am not actually being paid as a teacher right now I took a sub position as an aide.

I work with a Special Ed teacher in a 1-2 grade class; next door to us is a pre-K-Kindergarten Special Needs class. The teacher I work for is leaving she has taken a job testing and teaching other how to teach Autistic Children. She just finished her Maters this year at the University of Alabama “ Roll Tide” :O) and she is about 28 and very smart. She can also be a bit pushy but hey she is young and most times she is right.

Now next door the teacher has been teaching for about 20 plus years and is in her late 50’s. She often has made comments to the younger teacher that she needs to just adjust to the fact she will working “Like This” meaning with-in the school system doing the same job for the next 20 years.

The younger teacher has dreams of changing the system and being one of the people who write policies on Special need units, instead of complaining about the policies like the older teacher.

Since hearing that the younger teacher has taken a better job and is moving up and on the older teacher has been …well ugly. But most days it is just ignored. By ugly I mean making comments like” Who does she think she is? Does she think she can single handily change the world??”

Now I just walk on by smile at her and stay clear…what would it accomplish to say anything and get into it with her? Personally, I think she needs to get over it.

Today things came to a head. The principal told the younger teacher she had to pack the room and be out by Thursday so that the older teacher could have that room (reason it has 2 windows not one yes petty I know). Now this is coming after weeks of the older teacher nagging about moving.

So today while we have students and they are not kids you can sit in front of a video and pack. They need constant one on one and a routine is very important. When things go off track you have behavior problems and I am talking full blown tantrums. Throwing things on the floor, crying, screaming and hitting.

We started packing and our kids went off the edge…honestly I have had it. By 2pm the other aide and I were at our limit when the older teacher instructed her aides to start carrying “HER” things into the room…while we were packing the younger teachers things.

Then the older teacher comes in and instructs me to” mark ALL these boxes so it will be easier for her to go through them”. Mind you during all this I still have to stop Pete from smacking Sam and Jack from walking out of the room to explore.

I look at her and say” Not on you life! You want them marked the marker is right there… you and Younger teacher have at it…or grab a kid and keep them occupied”.

At that point I stop packing to watch the kids. The other aide starts potting them so we can cycle them out and on buses.

The younger teacher comes in complaining about the older teacher cornering her in the hall saying “WE” need to do blah and blah… in walks older teacher…younger teacher walks into the hall…older teacher follows mouth moving full speed…next thing I hear…” You can do whatever you like …feel free to pack the boxes and mark them”…. and it goes on and it gets louder…. now ALL the kids in the first grade hall can hear.

Ends up with Younger teacher in room crying because what she wants to do is smack older teacher, older teacher walking down the hall chasing one of her students who escaped while her aides were trying to pack her room and all of us aides in another room shaking our heads trying to figure out how we are going to survive till Thursday at 11:30 and keep the children busy.

So now the aides are the teachers( I need to check into that extra pay) and apparently the teachers are the children!

We (as in the aides) have decided that our first priority is our students and the teacher need to get their shit together.

And that ladies and gents is my last Monday of the school year.


Sunday, May 16

Sunday Quote

I love to read quotes, many days it helps me to get past whatever hang up I may be having and move on in a more positive manner. Today I think this one says it all
When stressed or going through a difficult time, it is essential that you take the time to relax in order to replenish your mind, body, and spirit. Nurture your well being by creating an oasis of calm in your life. Getting calm allows you to get a fresh perspective and helps you cope better physically and emotionally with your troubles. Being able to control at least one aspect of your life, in this case time to yourself, helps you to get a grip on the rest of it For success, take the t out of can't. --Anonymous

While saying your Sunday prayers please remember to our servicemen and women in your prayers today, and their families.


Saturday, May 15

Getting it together!!

I know I have posted before about getting my act together, and I assure you each time I have said these words I have meant it. Today however is different.

I’ve started planning things like our trip Florida to see family and summer things as well. I am taking the girls to Visionland with a friend who's husband is also in the Middle East.

I had a great many people say to me
"When Rob is gone call anytime you need help and we will help."
Now after the termites trying to invade, the dryer not drying, A/C not cooling, van lights going off like lights on a Christmas tree, and a mothers day in the toilet ...I honestly know who those people are that I can truly call for help. I feel a real sense of relief!

I broke the news to the girls that Rob will be gone longer then expected and now they seem ok with this. Every now and then I get the question WHY? and NO fair!! comments but, for the most part they have accepted it. That is a big help as well.

Rob and I have started our routine with each other and I always fear (when he is gone long periods of time) that we will lose the closeness and the intimacy of being man and wife.

We have always had a very healthy sex life,and while it isn't the part that defines us or our relationship, hell after almost 17 years there has to be more,it is something that is greatly missed.I also miss the cuddling in bed, the fact that he couldn't seem to really get to sleep until his feet where touching my leg,and that he can always make me smile no matter how upset I am. Since he has left I don't smile as much.

I have had nights when I would sit and wonder how he gets to sleep now and after almost 2 years of doing this, when he comes home he will no longer have the "Need" for the old ways.

535 is a long time and for me to already be on the when is gets home will he still like this. Will he still want to do things like we use to… and so on seems a bit silly but on the other hand normal healthy.

It means I am looking towards the future and not somewhere in the house trying to take a nap so I don’t have to deal with missing him.

I like that I can now say I am Dealing with it and it’s the truth. It is I also a blessing knowing I have some great friends and family standing behind me to help!



Tuesday, May 11

Their Back :o)

I am very happy to say both the girls are healthy again! Not only that we also have A/C now!!! Unfortunately, I am not feeling great still. I am past the throwing up stage but have moved onto the other stage. I dear not go to far from the bathroom in fear of an accident!

Alyssa has her last band concert tonight. I really am looking forward to it…but I will be sitting in the back row just in case! Only 6 more days of school, boy it went fast.

I do have some projects planned. I have some quilting I must finish before I start any new projects. Then I am redoing the girl’s bathroom and the living room. Now if I could just settle on some colors. We are also going to Florida to see my parents in June; the girl’s are so excited!

After that is my 40th Birthday, I am still not sure what I plan for that. I would love to have a party but we will see.

Sorry got to go!


Monday, May 10

Mother's Day

Yesterday was some day. Poor Lin was up every two hours Saturday night on just throwing up. I felt so bad for her. Now god knew when I had children that this would be a problem for me.

How do I know this? Well, my girls have not missed the potty or trashcan when I am around. They have missed with their dad who has the stomach to clean things up like this. Not with me. I just can’t handle this and Lin needs lots of back rubbing when she is getting sick so needless to say I was light headed the whole weekend.

Today she is trying to keep chicken soup down. Her fever is gone and she slept very well last night. I hope she is better now. Alyssa and I seem to have the opposite problem if you now what I mean. Hopefully, this too is over!

Rob did call me for mother’s day, which I think, is sweet. His mother sent me a beautiful flower arrangement in a teacup, which is very pretty. I was shocked to be honest we have been at ends lately as it was the last thing I thought I would get.

They girls made me the prettiest cards. Lin’s said she was sorry she was sick on my special day. I assured her I totally understood. After all taking care of her was a very “motherly” thing to be doing on this day!

My thoughts did wonder to those who have lost their son’s and daughters today. I said a prayer for them but you know it seemed like too little. They have given so much. I pray he watches over them and helps them to heal.


Saturday, May 8

The Next Stage

I have been fighting this and fighting this but I think I am at the depression stage of this separation. I kept telling myself I was just tired. In all honestly all I get done is going to work and coming home. My house is not clean. It looks like someone else’s house. I usually keep it so clean. I have fed my girls more fast food then I ever thought possible. So much so they are asking me to cook.

I come home from work and all I can think about is going to bed. I am so tired. No not tired exhausted, like I haven’t slept in weeks and I sleep anytime I can. And nothing really phases me. Things break I think well shit…oh well. Then of course after a few hours call some one to fix it.

The air is getting fixed on Tuesday morning, it was suppose to be done today but they sent the wrong part. The air guy was so nice and I understand it isn’t his fault …through the whole thing all I could think about was taking a nap.

I even forgot to pay the bills. If you know me you would know this is not like me. I always pay on time. I tired for several days to sit down and do it and I just couldn’t get my mind to focus on it.

I am finally getting up on the laundry and I have start pushing the girls to clean their rooms. I guess slowly I will become me again. I want to cry all the time. I feel like if I start to cry I would feel better….then I think good god if I started I may never stop. So I don’t cry.

I know I need to get myself together. I’m working on it. Honestly I am, I’m just a little slow on the uptake. If you have sent me an email or message and I haven't responded I am sorry and I will talk to you as soon as I get myself back on track. Really!


Monday, May 3

I know where have I been???

Finally time to post! Things here have been so busy. I am in charge of the ‘Teacher Appreciation Luncheon” this year. I have two great ladies helping so things are running very smooth and we have some wonderful gifts for our teachers.

I don’t mind doing it because I know these teachers so well working with them everyday, it is a pleasure to thank them. (Well most of them just like anywhere else we have a few bad apples…but what can you do?)

There are only 13 days left of school! I am so thrilled I can’t begin to tell you! I love teaching but the last 6 weeks of school I am not teaching a regular class but acting as an aide in a special needs class. I love the kids but I can’t tell you how tried I am of being hit, bit and kicked.

We have one little boy who has at least 3 seizures a day and it is usually by mid morning. School at this point is just too much for him yet they send him everyday. I can understand wanting to try …but at the same time I worry what if we are involved with another students behavior (and it is all about behavior with these kids…hell we are still potty training most of them!) and he has a seizure that we are not at the very minute he has it? What if he falls and gets hurt?

It just so stressful, add that to Rob being gone and things still breaking like mad around the house! Whew I need a vacation!!

Last weekend the dryer and the air conditioning broke! My friend Colleen’s son helped me fix the dryer and it was free I love that!

The air is a whole other story! At the rate is going to get the guy here to fix it, it maybe a full rant!!!

I did go shopping today and bought a pair of Capri pants and a denim shirt to go with the pants, which have white, blue and tan stripes.

I talked to Rob this weekend. He is in limbo waiting to find out about the extension. He is also getting grouchy because his new laptop still hasn’t arrived.

Lots of things happening in the middle east so please continue to keep our service men and women in your prayers along with their families.