How Does This Work?
I have moments of such sadness and I have my moments when I just can't breath. I'm fine then I can't breath and when I do I breath I start to cry and can't seem to stop...then, as quickly as it started it is over. I don't want to leave you all with the impression that I am uncontrollably sobbing but I would say at least 3 times a week now it happens. Better then every day right!
Today was a hard day. I went to the lawyers and then Rob told me that he received all his paper work and will leave around the 11th of June. The only good news about that is he should be here for Alyssa's graduation and her birthday. She made the comment last week that this was the first time in a few years her daddy will be here on her birthday. It was all I could do not to cry right there. Thank god mom was with me and changed the subject.
It seems just so unreal to me all of this. How does it happen that one day you just don't love someone you have loved them all your adult life? I just don't get it. How does this work?
He seems to think now we will be the best of friends and even closer. I don't think he gets it...you can't walk out on someone and then be the best of friends...I'm pretty sure I am allowed a "I despise you and want to hang your balls on my review mirror" period.
Right now I am just hurt...and I'm worried about the girls and how things will be when he is gone. Gone and no longer my husband. I'm not sure how this will work since at the moment I still seem to be foolishly in love with him.